Compliment- Take it.
Friend: Hey! I loved this blog post.
Me: Oh! how’s the weather?
Friend: Looking lovely today!
Me: The color of your dress is awesome.
Family: Congrats on the good work!
Me: So, when is our next vacation?
Friend: The hair cut looks amazing.
Me: It is just a good hair day.
Friend: Oh! the tea tastes so good.
Me: I made such bad tea in the morning.
How good are you accepting a compliment? I am referring to the genuine compliments that you get from your loved ones.
I confess, I am not good at it. I either change the topic or talk about something that went wrong.
I know a lot of people who fall in this category. Even after a genuine, straight from the heart compliment, they just turn a deaf ear to it. And I don’t like it when someone does that to my compliment.
I became aware of this quite recently. I was getting very fidgety and conscious when I heard a compliment. How awkward and strange, I thought!
When I looked up about this uneasiness on the internet, I came across something called the “Impostor Syndrome”. It is not a mental disorder of any sort. ( That is a relief! ) But people who are subject to this condition tend to :
Undermine one’s own achievements.
Discount praise.
Impostor experience can present itself through thoughts such as:
“I feel like a fake”
“I just got lucky”
These conditions and thoughts did seem familiar.
I have also noticed that I find it easier to receive compliments in the virtual world. A comment or compliment on the social media is easier to respond to. But one on the face, I would rather stay away from it.
So, my next search was to find out how I could get over this condition and become better at accepting and owning up when someone gives a compliment.
Like always, becoming aware of this behavior is the first step.
Now, the moment I hear a compliment, I know what I should not say.
I also don’t look away or move away from the place.
I listen to the entire compliment, and say a big Thank You.
I sometimes add an extra ” That was kind of you.”
And that is it. I just tell myself ” I have earned it.”
So if you intend to say “Well Written, I could connect to it. “, my response is “Thank You.”
Comments
Somewhere in being modest, we unknowingly hurt the other person giving the genuine compliment! Thanks for sharing…small changes in the way we respond..but will go a long way in shaping relationships!
Btw, this was a beautiful blog Deepa 🙂
Trying to be modest is ok if we are able to accept the compliment. So many times we feel we don’t deserve that compliment. That is something i feel we need to work on.. And then if we respond well to a genuine compliment , the person giving it also feels good.
Thank You Saras..
I think you are going to touch a lot of people with this post. So many people don’t know how to accept a compliment graciously. I’m pretty old and am still learning!
Yes, Anneli it did. And I am glad it did.
So true, something I need to get better at. 🙂
Let’s practice. I love this post. I think it makes a great point.
Thank you Lacey.
This made me laugh, because I do it all the time. I’m going to try “thank you” next time!
Yes.. It is so simple isn’t it. And we tend to unnecessarily complicate it.
I wonder why compliments can be so uncomfortable to receive and so easy to give. I’m going to make it simple from now on!
Good post!!
We might think it’s simple to accept a compliment, but it’s really quite complex.
Why complex, Cathi. When we know it is coming from a genuine person, why does it get complex… I know we tend to do that, but wondering why..
I think it gets complex if we don’t have a strong sense of self/inner confidence. It’s hard to believe someone really thinks we’re worth something when we don’t believe it ourselves.
I get that point …
I seem to be in the same boat! I should take a page out of your book and try, “Thank You”. Great post! ~Elle
Good luck Elle. Thank you for stopping by..
I think so many of us have trouble accepting compliments, because it makes us feel as if we are bragging on ourselves somehow when someone takes the time to tell us we are good at something. Slowly but surely, I am learning the value of a simple “Thank you!”
Yes, like one of my friends here mentioned, in an attempt to be modest and also to make sure that we are not bragging on ourselves, we downplay our efforts and achievements.
Compliments make me feel uncomfortable, but I’ve trained myself to say thank you and always hope it will be enough
It takes a conscious effort to accept a compliment graciously doesn’t it? My default is usually to throw it straight back to them, eg love your dress too, to take the focus off me. But I’m learning to accept and just say thank you. Great post.
Thank you Miriam. Taking the focus off is so important for each of us.. for some reason..
Very well written! I am too shy to accept compliments, though I love to hear them.😉
🙂 That is so true with most of us. But after writing this article, I am more aware of it.