“Only a few people care. The rest are just curious.” I saw this shared by a friend a few days ago on social media and it struck a chord. So true, right… Out of the many “How are you today” messages that we send out, or receive, a huge percentage falls in the “just curious” category.

Now, curious need not always spring from a negative place. It could also be a ” for my information” category of enquiry. Especially during these times, people could just be collecting information about how different parts of the world is coping.

How do we respond to these different categories of messages?

To people who we know genuinely care, it is fine to tell exactly how we feel. It can vary from a “I am on cloud 9 today” or ” I don’t even want to get out of bed today”. It makes sense to tell them, ” I am scared and I feel I have lost all purpose” or ” I want to make a difference to someone’s life today”. We can expect similar answers from them to our questions too. These are definitely immediate family and friends that genuinely care. We are lucky to have these people in our lives.

The second category of people are the ones that are curious from an information point of view. It is a good idea to give them the information that they are looking for. Responses like ” the number of cases in our area are slowly decreasing and we are hopeful that businesses will reopen in a month’s time” or ” we are mostly staying indoors” or ” we can step out with masks” or ” we are doing our part to help the community and stop the spread by taking the necessary precautions” are the ones that they are looking for.

Third category of people are asking to hear about our troubles. To sympathize with us and to just reassure themselves that they are in a far better place. They feed on our problems. We get a negative vibe when we interact with such people. How do we deal with such people? “There are good days and bad days” or “hanging in here hoping for the tide to pass”, “all of us are in the same boat” etc make better responses to such people. It is okay to not whet their appetite with our problems. The lesser number of such people in our lives, the better it is.

These are ways to deal with the question when it is asked to us. Let us jump to the other side of the wind. How about when we ask this question? We all know that we have asked it from all three places. And, we are definitely not proud of being in the third category. What can we do about it?

When we ask the question to near and dear ones, we genuinely want to hear what they feel and we always hope that they are coping well and are doing their best under all circumstances. We always send our best thoughts and wishes to them.

In the second category of enquiry, along with collecting information, the small change that we can bring about it to genuinely mean and feel what we say. When we say “take care”, make sure we really mean it. Cross our hearts and send a secret prayer.

With a sincere effort, which becomes easier with awareness and right intentions, we have to make sure we do not ask anyone with an intention to feed on their problems. We can feel grateful for what we have without thinking of other people’s have-nots or problems. The sooner we learn to do it, the better it is for us.

People all over the world are going through tough times. Each of us can make difference to our own little worlds by taking care of what we say, what we think and what we feel when we say or think.

How are you, my reader, doing today?

I genuinely wish you good health, happiness and peace…..

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