How long can someone be in denial? 

As long as they are alive?  Or maybe even after that, who knows! 

She was born into circumstances that cannot be described as ideal. The constant neglect and disregard that she experienced while growing up and the inability to overcome those feelings of hurt, lead her into adopting a denial mechanism. She created a world in her mind,  that was perfect. She overlooked the problems that surrounded her. Sadly, this resulted in her stopping from working on solving those problems, even when she has the power to do so. Denial became her easy way out. 

During times when she was aware of the huge amount of problems piling up, she blamed it on destiny. Yes, she could have been born into a different family. Yes, she could have found someone better to lead her life with. Yes, she could have landed a better job than the one she had. Yes, her life could have been different. 

But, there is no denying the fact that,  she was where she was. 

The first couple of times she knew she was being mistreated by her parents, the initial bad fights with her husband, the appraisal cycles she was not even considered for, were all warning signs for her to take stock of the situation. Instead, she came up with stories in her mind that helped her deny all of it. She kept lying about it to herself and others. 

Those stories gave her temporary relief. She transported herself into the lands of unicorns and fairies and eros and unicorns. Life was a fairytale there. 

She lost everything and every one, one by one. She responded to each of them by cooking up stories in her head. These were stories that convinced her that she was helpless. Stories that denied any other possibility of events. 

Today, sitting in her patio, with her gaze stuck on the ceiling, a glass of wine dropped near the chair, and her body, lifeless, she still looked in denial.

Denial of the life she had led and denial of the death she had embraced. 

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