Have you ever thought of all those friends in your best friends zone? Have you ever thought about the steps involved in selecting a friend? Have you ever set criteria to find friends? Or do friendships just happen! 

Having a good set of friends to share the ups and downs of our life with, is such a blessing. While in school, we select friends based on our likes and dislikes, the games we play and where we live. As we grow older, we realize we can have friends who could have very different likes and dislikes but have very similar values as ours. We even surprise ourselves by having friends with diametrically opposite qualities as ours. 

No matter how many “friends” we add on social media, we always fall back to a handful of buddies whom we have placed in our best friends zone. Out of the large pool of friends we make in our lifetime, there are those selected few who we promote to this zone over a period of time. I feel this zone stands the test of time and distance. 

If we have this best friends zone intact, then we should congratulate ourselves because it takes time and careful and persistent effort on our part to keep those friends. There is some value that you add to the other person’s life and vice versa. 

Making some good friends is actually an uphill task for a kid. Those constantly mending and breaking friendships can cause trauma for little kids. However, over a period of time, they find  ways to cope with it. 

Long ago,  I asked my little girl if she had found the right recipe to find good friends. Sometimes kids surprise us with their big talks of wisdom, don’t they! Her answer came as a big lesson for me. 

She said, there is only one rule to be kept in mind while promoting a friend to the best friend zone:

“If a friend shares any of her friend’s secrets with you before the two of you  become best friends, then she cannot become your best friend. She can share your secrets with others too. “ 

Wow! That was a simple and straightforward way to assess a person. ( I did smile at the implied meaning of the rule: Once best friends, they are allowed to share those secrets. 🙂 ) 

We get a fair idea of how a person will treat us based on how he/she treats others in our presence. This knowledge can be detrimental in deciding if we want to continue our acquaintance with that person or not. This is a big lesson that I learnt from the wisdom of a little girl and I always keep that in mind. 

Whatever rule/s we have applied in making those best buddies, if we have made some, it is an achievement. Let us celebrate this achievement!

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